Three – I’m gonna bring up the dumbest thing here and simply ask your indulgence. It simply wasn’t discussed! Why? Was it something to be ashamed of? I don’t understand and she’s no longer here to ask. Two – As an adult, I found out that my grandmother’s Italian family removed the “i” from the end of their last name to “American-ize” it. I want to talk about it … to keep it from happening again… not that I have any control over that, eh? He refused to tell them what they already knew. When the police questioned him, he said an animal went out on the road and he swerved to miss it. Still, the only reason we know about it is that the medication he was given for pain (he’d broken his clavicle in the crash at the bottom of a ravine, among other things) loosened his tongue and he told us the truth. This is his story, of course, but it is also mine, as I have told him. One – my son, who drove off a cliff in 2011, has told me he doesn’t appreciate when I talk about his suicide attempts (yes, more than one). Why? Because I’d lived them.Īnd in a way, I still do. Today, as I went through it again, I remember feeling out-of-body the first time I read about enmeshment, triangulation, and other ways family secrets perpetuate themselves. I read this book many years ago, along with a few others, for a college psychology class about family dysfunction. In short, am I protecting my privacy and that of other people I love? Or, am I being secretive? And… why? While I want to share the book(s) with you… because they’re very important… I do NOT want to delve into my personal stories with regard to the subject matter – for myriad reasons. See, here’s the thing: I find myself in a very precarious position. In the case of one book in particular ( Will I Ever Be Good Enough?) I was nearly sick pushing the “Publish” button. In fact, other books that have touched on some similar ouchie spots of my own childhood and relationship with certain family members have been talked about only occasionally and to be honest, very carefully. May, 2016) is an amalgamation of everything discussed thus far. Mostly about how secrets aren’t safe.įamily Secrets by the late John Bradshaw (d. John Bradshaw was not a newcomer to the self-help landscape when this book came out, nor is he a newbie here on my site, as I’ve written about a couple of his books already.
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